#guys #let’s pause for a second and observe this scene #sherlock’s and john’s lifes lie in the hand of a crazy person #like for real crazy and mad and everything #and all it takes is one look #ONLY ONE LOOK for john and sherlock to agree on dying together #sherlock looks at john #and john just nods #he does not ask questions #he does not hesitate #he just nods and gives sherlock the permission to do anything #even if it means dying #dying by sherlock’s side #GUYS #I WILL GO DOWN WITH THIS SHIP
I think for Sherlock, the moment when he saw John in that vest was the moment when he realized that somewhere, somehow, John Watson had ceased to be merely a flatmate. It was all a game and then John stepped out and for 30 seconds, Sherlock thought he was Moriarty and he wasn’t excited, thrilled, at how clever John must have been to out wit him, he just looked lost. And then, a few seconds later, he realized John was in danger and the expression on his face changed to such pure panic. The only other time we see that face is in ASiB in, you guessed it, the scene were John has a gun to his head. Even when Mrs. Hudson is attacked, you never see that fear: righteous anger, yes, love, loyalty, all that, but not the panic, the absolute devastating knowledge that not only is this someone he doesn’t want to lose, it’s someone he simply can’t afford to lose.
And isn’t it interesting, that in Hound, he notes that he’s afraid of things he doesn’t understand. He’s never had this friendship/partnership/whatever and I personally don’t think it’s until TRF that it finally clicks on just how much John means to him and that, really, he would always have died for John. He just didn’t know it.
But with John, it’s different. Let’s not forget that John was contemplating suicide before Sherlock came into the picture: he doesn’t really have a reason to live without this man. Oh and that he’s already offered to sacrifice his life once for Sherlock’s tonight. But John ALWAYS protects Sherlock first and he’s known that from the beginning, hasn’t he? From the scene with cabby, all the way to the rooftop, John’s one mission is to keep this mad man safe, not only for Sherlock’s sake, but because he knows what his life was like before. And he knows that he just cannot live that way.
Given half a choice, they both know that one of them getting out alive isn’t an option, because even this early in the game, they absolutely cannot lose each other. They know neither of them will let the other one sacrifice himself: Sherlock wouldn’t run and John would never, ever, leave Sherlock.
Admittedly this next part is getting into the theoretical, head-canonish, this-is-my-OTP and-I’ll-be-sappy-if-I-want-to stuff now, but, I think maybe that’s why Sherlock couldn’t tell John about Reichenbach. Not because he wanted to off Moriarty’s network on his own or because John’s a terrible actor and so they couldn’t tell him, none of which ring true to me, but are common explanations. (ACD never gave us a good excuse because, well, he never meant to bring Sherlock back!)
No, I think it’s because John Watson would never have let Sherlock Holmes jump in the first place, especially not for his sake. It was too risky, too many ways that Sherlock could have died on that rooftop and almost did, too many ways he could still die if he actually runs off by himself to take out Moriarty’s network. Because John wouldn’t have left Sherlock at Barts by himself. He wouldn’t have let him take on Moriarty alone, and he wouldn’t have let him jump, not unless he could follow him off the rooftop himself.
I could see the look in Sherlock’s eyes - a flash of, not anger, but hurt. For a second, he looked like a little, lost child. I should have been horrified that he’d even doubt me for a second but, to be honest, it was so refreshingly human of him. He actually did value our friendship. He did, despite himself, care.
wanted to draw more angst suddenly