"I wait for the morning of my googly eyes."
Suggested by littlenim!
reading bad fanfiction is like listening to the kidz bop version of your favourite song
why is this so accurate
And of course there’s Sherlock, back for a third series just as soon as the BBC finishes its promotional Amish-style striptease.
If it hadn’t already clicked for the entire audience that John and Sherlock are pretty much an old, cranky, married couple, and they still didn’t get it after this episode, I’m pretty sure they’re just doomed to miss the point of this show forever. See, to translate, when Sherlock says, “You’re my only friend,” what he actually means to say is “John, I love you, because you are the only person in the universe who will not blink when I come into the flat with a harpoon and covered in what may or may not be human blood, help me break into a top-secret military base, allow me to drug your coffee, and will still talk to me the morning after. Let’s make friendship bracelets and run into the sunset, but instead of holding hands, we will be chasing a serial killer.
so my dorm had an open mic/coffeehouse night and my roommate and I went down because it seemed like it would be fun and also free coffee
and a ton of people turned out and there were a bunch of brilliant acts, and about 45 minutes in this guy comes up like “i’m gonna do some stand-up,” and we’re all like wow this is pretty ambitious
so his first few jokes get a decent amount of laughs, it’s slightly awkward but he’s doing pretty well, and then he goes
"ok so this next joke is kind of weird but i’m gonna tell it" and proceeds to bestow this gem upon the waiting audience:
"So, my girlfriend and I have gotten pretty serious lately and we’ve gotten to talking- she wants to have kids, but I want to conserve my sperm."
*cue confused giggles and one loud whoop, he keeps going*
"Yeah, i’m saving it up so I can have a good sperm meal in the future."
1 month ago on October 20, 2013 at 09:11pm with 1 note
If you listen carefully you can hear the sound of me falling in love with Carey Mulligan.
i WANT AN OTAMATONE THEYRE SO ANNOYING
I am obligated to reblog this on the grounds that it is insanely annoying and I want it.
oh my god. i cannot stop laughing
oh my god they’re really cute and i;m laughing so hard
The top comment on the YouTube video says all you need to know:
i found a way to make my headache worse
it sounds like a demons mating ritual