also shit i need to get straight doesn’t just include me doing stuff i was putting off

it’s saying stuff i’ve been putting off saying even if i’m not sure if i should say it or i’m afraid of the consequences. like big things that need to be said once but also little things like not being afraid to tell someone when they’re upsetting me  or when i disagree with them about something little and inconsequential

the people who love me won’t suddenly not love me anymore just because i say that i disagree with them once, they won’t love me less because i say one thing they might not want to hear and I’ve literally been living in fear of that my entire life and it’s the one major thing i need to learn 

i just wrote such an overdue message to one of my favorite professors to address something that i really dropped the ball on and which i regret dropping the ball on

and i don’t even believe how much better i feel already

procrastinating sucks and it’s probably made more people than my writing professor really disappointed in me, and i’m trying to start correcting it because this weekend i’ve been thinking about it a lot and hating myself and hating the way i steal my own peace of mind by putting everything off until even the tiniest thing seems like such an effort

i’m not that lazy and i’m not going to act that way anymore

so there

There was this really cute girl at work tonight training for the other store

And she had these really blue eyes, like literally limpid tears

And when I left just now she had to come lock the door behind me and she was like “go home and enjoy your Mad Men, the fourth season is really good!”

And I just word vomited out “You have really nice eyes! Like, crazy blue!”

And then I peaced out so fast

OTL why does she not work in our store

Woah, a massive thunderstorm just started. Crazy bright lightning, too.

I like storms, but I hope it’s not gonna be raining when I have to move all my shit out of the building in a few hours.

So I went to St. John the Divine tonight to hear the reading of the cantos from Dante’s Inferno. It was so beautifully dark in there except at the altar which was lit perfectly. So eerie.

Though I have to say, before tonight, never had I thought i’d hear the words “ass trumpet” spoken from a church altar.

Now I’m debating going to the diner. Somebody decide for me.

things I’ve recently developed unexpected obsessions with:

  • shipping fred^2 for serious
  • mads mikkelsen’s back
  • ambient electronic music
  • snail mouths

I read and recorded sounds for a short passage of my favorite childhood book for my sound image class, and yesterday my professor said she likes the way I read so much that she wanted me to come with her tomorrow to the school where she reads to third graders, and read a few chapters of that book to them .

So tomorrow morning I’m going to read some of Roald Dahl’s “BOY: Tales of Childhood” to a bunch of cute little kids, and I’m so happy ;w; the book means so much to me, and I know that a lot of kids, even ones who like Roald Dahl, will never pick it up because it’s an autobiography, despite the fact that he wrote it to be accessible to children. I read it for the first time when I was 7, and I still re-read it yearly.

It’s so special and I get to share ;3;

I should wear my bow more often, I’ve gotten three comments on it today ;w;

1 from a guy in my class this morning, I came in late and he goes “but you still had time to put a flower in your hair”

2 from a guy on my floor at school, he came out of the elevator and was like “hey Corinne , I like your flower!”

3 from the cute barista at the coffee place, who accidentally gave me the wrong drink and then called out to me “hey, you in the pretty bow!” I was already putting cinnamon in the drink so I kept it, even though Nutella isn’t my favorite flavor. I was so happy didn’t even care.

i’m wearing flannel jammies and reading in bed while listening to sigur ros and my legs are all tired from exercising and i’m all sleepy and this has to be one of the best feelings ever

I don’t know why i’m thinking of this, but it’s late at night and i’m thinking about how being into Hannibal somehow enhances my enjoyment of Sherlock…

It’s so strange, but because everything in the Hannibal universe is so dark and twisted and terrible, Sherlock seems all the more romantic and full of love. It didn’t seem like it at first, but being into something so absolutely fucked up where people are so terrible to each other really does remind me that Sherlock is fundamentally a romance about a detective. In all the relationships in the show you just see how much all of them are mutually concerned for each other’s wellbeing even when they like to pretend they’re not, in Lestrade hugging Sherlock like a son and Mrs.Hudson making breakfast for John and Sherlock giving up his life for John and ohhhhhh

Hannibal is set in a much colder, scarier world, where everyone’s good intentions are always so fucked up and never well-executed, and not just for the obvious candidates, like Hannibal with his affection for Will that ends up with Will in prison, but Jack beating himself up over ruining everything and Alana trying to reassure Will that she’ll get him justice- by proving that he was insane when he committed serial murder, all out of care.

It’s such a wonderful juxtaposition.